The Dreams We Dream
by TardisBlue1504
Summary: When his wife Melody is killed in an accident, James is left to care for his four young daughters alone. Melody's best friend and former gold medalist Rose Tyler is there to help him keep it together. Will the two of them find what they've been looking for in each other? *Very* loosely based on the BBC show Single Father.
1. Chapter 1

After his wife Melody's unexpected death, James is left to care for his four young daughters alone. Rose, who was one of Melody's dearest friends, tries to help keep the shattered family together.

Rose walks into the center of the room, announcing the end of the tumbling class. Her attempts to get the attention of her young gymnasts go unheard, though. The group of four and five year olds is having entirely too much fun to even notice her. She claps her hands together and says, "Alright you lot! It's time to stretch. You've done such a great job today, I think you've earned a surprise, don't you?" She flashes a sticker that she has hidden in her left palm, and it's enough to send the little girls scampering to the center of the mat for stretching time. Parents amble along behind, smiling in amusement at their antics and looking relieved that it's almost time to go home.

Rose sits down with the group of children and they stretch together, reaching their fingers up to the sky and wiggling their fingers, then reaching for their toes. As she watches them, she thinks of how different her life is from what it was five years ago. Five years ago, she was an Olympic Gymnast vying for a gold medal. She could do a back handspring with the best of them. Now here she is sitting in front of a group of little girls who watch her with awe, dreaming of the day when they can be an Olympic star, too. Rose loves what she does, and wouldn't trade it for anything, but sometimes she misses competing with an ache she can't describe. She misses the excitement, the butterflies in her stomach, the screaming of the crowd when she gets the routine she's worked so hard on just perfect.

The class comes to an end and Rose walks around setting up the room for her beginning gymnastics class the next morning. She looks up when she hears "Wosie!" and sees a little girl running across the room, blonde ponytail flying out behind her.

"Minnie-Jennie!" Rose says, and scoops the little girl up into a hug. "How are you today?" Her best friend Melody walks in not far behind, one child on her hip, one attached to her pant leg, and another following, looking a bit sullen.

"Hello, Rose!" Melody says, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. They've been best friends since grade school, and she's more like a sister to Rose than a friend. "We were in the neighborhood so we thought we'd stop by and-Jennie, get out of that box! Those stickers aren't for you!" She brushes her curly blonde hair out of her face, looking exasperated.

"Oh Mels, you know I don't mind," Rose says in amusement. She loves Melody's children like they are her own, and she'd do anything for them. "I was just finishing up in here before I lock up for the night."

"You're still coming over for dinner tonight, yeah?" Melody says hopefully. "I've got a sitter for the kids and everything. Getting to spend the evening with grownups is the ultimate birthday wish come true!"

"Of course I'll be there!" Rose says, holding out her arms and taking Sarah off Melody's hip before leading them out of the room and locking the door. "I wouldn't miss it for the world." She smiles, secretly knowing that the "dinner" is really a surprise party for Melody's 30th birthday. Rose and James have been planning it for weeks, and it's going to be perfect.

Rose locks up the building after Melody and the kids leave, then heads home to get ready for the evening. She debates between slightly casual and a sundress, and then decides on the dress. It's a deep shade of midnight blue, and one of her favorites. Rose doesn't get many chances to dress up much these days, so she wants to take advantage of the opportunity.

Her boyfriend Mickey is sitting on the couch staring at the sports channel when she walks through the living room. "Why aren't you ready yet? We have to leave soon," she says in surprise. He's known Melody for years too, so it's only right that he's there to help her celebrate.

"Championship game is on tonight," he says, not moving his eyes from the television. Rose sighs in annoyance. They've been together for two years now, and she knows when he gets like this, there's no use trying to argue with him. He won't budge from that couch until the game is over, except maybe to grab another beer. So she'll go alone again, and make up some excuse for her plus one not being there.

When Rose arrives, Melody's husband James comes out of the house to greet her and gives her a quick hug. "You look pretty tonight," he says, taking the bags the shopping bags full of food and decorations that she's got in her hands. Rose considers James as much of a friend as she does Melody, but for some reason when she hears him say that, she blushes a little. Thankfully he doesn't seem to notice and he leads her inside, where for once there's not a stray toy or Sippy cup in sight.

"Melody's at her yoga class tonight," James says as he puts the cookies she brought on a plate. "She didn't want to go at first, but I told her that she should go and enjoy herself, since it's her birthday."

While James chatters on, Rose studies the photographs in the hallway, the ones she's passed a million times, but never really stopped to look at. The wooden frames hold images of Melody and James's four children at various ages; a professional photograph of their wedding day; James holding their first child Susie as a newborn. Rose feels a sudden unexpected twinge of envy that surprises her. She tries to imagine her and Mickey in these photos instead of Melody and James, and for some odd reason, she finds she can't.

James comes out of the kitchen with the plate of cookies in hand and sees her studying the photographs. "It's been a crazy ride," he says, laughing. "I wouldn't trade it for anything, though."

Rose follows him out into the backyard, which has been transformed from the usual playground into a far more grownup setting. Lights have been strung up through the trees, bathing the yard in a soft, romantic light. There are several tables holding food, cake, and gifts. Music plays merrily in the background. "This is amazing," Rose says in awe. "Melody is so lucky to have you." James gives her a wide grin, showing his teeth. She swears he's blushing a little, but the light is dim and she can't be sure.

There are already a few people present, including James's family. Rose chats with his sister Donna, a red-haired spitfire who works as a temp in Chiswick. More people begin to arrive, filling up the yard and chatting merrily with each other. Rose checks her watch and sees that it's nearly 7:00. Melody should be arriving any minute now. James flits around the yard, putting last minute touches on things and talking with friends and family members. She smiles in amusement at his excitement, and thinks it's kind of cute.

After a half-hour though, the guests are starting to get a little restless. Melody still hasn't arrived, which is unusual, because she is always exactly on time for everything. Rose hopes that she didn't get a flat tire or a dead battery. James approaches her, looking a little concerned. "Have you heard from Melody?" he asks. "She should be home by now."

Rose frowns slightly, thinking that it's odd that she's not back yet when she knew they were supposed to all have dinner together tonight. Ever since their school days, Melody has always been the hyper-organized one who shows up early to everything. She hopes that her friend isn't stuck somewhere with a flat tire or a dead battery. Realizing she's been clutching her mobile tightly in her hand for the past few minutes, she looks at it again for any missed calls or texts. "Nothing," she says. "I wouldn't worry too much. Maybe she's just giving someone a ride home from the yoga studio. You know how she is, yeah? Willing to give the shirt off her back to someone who needs it."

James' features relax a little, because he knows it's true. Melody is one of the kindest and most giving people they know. "Yeah," he says. "I suppose you're right." He grabs an empty platter off the table and heads inside to refill it with more food. "I'll be right back," he says over his shoulder. Rose hears the sound of the doorbell through the screen door and smiles, thinking maybe Melody lost her house key. She might be hyper-organized, but if there's one thing her friend is bad about forgetting or losing, it's her keys. She's been known to lock herself out of the house more than once.

Then Rose hears the sound of a plate shattering on the tile floor and she knows. She _knows._


	2. Chapter 2

Rose gazes at her reflection in the mirror, silently fingering the string of pearls hanging around her neck. She's dressed in her best once again, but this time it's not for a party. No, this time, she's dressed to the nines for the funeral of her best friend in the entire world. She studies the woman staring back at her, at the circles that have formed underneath her eyes and the paleness of her face. She hasn't slept in three days and she's cried so much that she doesn't think she has any tears left.

Mickey comes into the room then, buttoning the cuff of his dress shirt. "Ready?" he asks, looking at her with concern. He's been so patient, lying awake with her at night while she cries herself out. Even though things aren't always perfect between the two of them, he's always been there for her and she knows he'd go to the ends of the Earth for her if she asked him to.

"Yeah. I'm ready." Rose turns to gather her things and suddenly realizes that she forgot her purse at James' house last night after the visitation. She's irritated, because it has both her mobile and a card with the address of the church. She looks at the clock on the nightstand and sees that they will have just enough time to stop by the house and grab it before it's time to head to Melody's funeral.

When they get to James' house, the driveway is empty and the house is locked up tight. It seems like a completely different place now, even though everything is exactly the same as it was when she was here four days ago for Melody's party. Even the toys scattered in the front yard haven't been moved.

"I'll be right back," Rose tells Mickey as she climbs out of the car. Luckily she has a spare key so getting in won't be any trouble. She lets herself in the front door and spies her purse sitting on the kitchen counter. James must have found it and put it there for her, she thinks. Rose grabs it and is just about to head back out the door when a loud crash just above her head stops her in her tracks. She's on full alert now, and the hair at the pack of her neck prickles just a bit. She wonders if maybe the house is being robbed. She's heard about that kind of thing before-people that target the house of someone who has just passed away so that they can steal drugs and valuables while the family is away at the funeral.

Just the thought of someone daring to touch Melody's things infuriates her. Even though she knows it's not very smart to confront a would-be robber, right now she doesn't care. She spies a large umbrella sitting in a pot near the door and grabs it. Straining her ears for any more noises, Rose heads for the stairs. "Hello?" she calls out, trying not to let her voice waiver. "Is there someone lurking about? If you're trying to rob this place you've got another thing coming! You'll have to mess with me!"

Rose makes it to the top of the stairs, and sees nothing out of the ordinary. A few baby dolls and a teddy bear are scattered in the hallway, but that's nothing unusual for a house with four little girls. The door to the master bedroom is partially cracked and she makes her way towards it. Her courage dissipates a bit when she gets there and she stops, debating whether she should actually go in or not. She nearly screams when James suddenly yanks the door open. He's standing there in nothing but a half-buttoned Oxford shirt and his underwear, and his hair is askew. His eyes are red-rimmed and he's clearly been crying. He looks every bit the madman. Rose stares at him for a moment, completely taken aback.

"Don't you know not to surprise a thief, Rose Tyler?" he growls. The expression on his face almost makes her back up a little, but she holds her ground.

"What are you still doing here, James?" Rose asks after regaining her composure. "The funeral is in an hour and you're not…dressed. At all." She tries in vain not to let her gaze wander downwards over his body.

James turns and starts to walk back across the room, but he stumbles slightly. Rose can see spots of blood on the sleeve of his white dress shirt. "I'm not going."

"What do you mean you're not going?" Rose asks, confused. "Of course you're going to her funeral." The stench of whiskey suddenly hits her nose and her eyes suddenly catch on the glittering shards of glass scattered across the carpet. "James Smith, are you drunk?"

James spins back around to face her, but it knocks him off balance and he topples forward. Rose drops the umbrella and darts over to catch him in her arms. They sink slowly to the ground together. "Does it matter?" he says, his voice slightly slurred. He stares at the floor, avoiding her eyes.

"Yes, yes, it does," she says. "You're her husband, James. You need to be there. Not just for her, but for yourself and your children."

"I can't do it, Rose." James takes a shuddering breath. "It's not fair."

Rose knows that there's nothing she can say that will make this better, or take his pain away. "I know."

"Did you know that both Amy and Jennie have been experiencing night terrors every night since I told them? Me, I'll be okay eventually. I'm always alright. But I can't bear the fact that my daughters have to grow up without their mother, and it's all my fault. I'm supposed to be able to protect my little girls and slay the dragons for them, and I've failed them. I was the one who convinced Melody to go to her yoga class that night. If I hadn't insisted that she go, she'd still be here right now."

"What?" Rose asks in disbelief. "No, no! This is not your fault, James. You just wanted her to go and have a good time." She takes his face in her hands and makes him look her in the eye. "It was never your fault, do you understand me? It happened because a man got pissed at a bar and decided that he couldn't wait for a cab. Your daughters absolutely adore you and you are the best father they could ask for. Believe me, I've seen it." She wants to shake him, make him see reason.

James is crying now, and the tears fall down his face and land on the hem of Rose's dress. "I can't bear to see their faces when the box that holds their mother's dead body is lowered into the ground and covered with dirt. How do I live with that, Rose? How?" He suddenly slumps forward onto her shoulder, his body shaking with sobs.

Rose leans back against the footboard of the bed and wraps her arms around him. "It's not your fault," she repeats. "'s not." She's not surprised that he's having a breakdown right now. He's been running himself ragged for the past three days planning his dead wife's funeral and trying to make sure that his daughters are taken care of. Still, she feels like her heart is being ripped out of her chest and she wishes that she could take away all of his pain and carry it herself.

As he cries into her shoulder, Rose holds him close, the same way she does when she's comforting one of the girls. She doesn't realize she's been crying herself until the tears fall off her cheeks, mixing with his own on the fabric of her dress. The stubble of his cheek tickles slightly, and she can feel the damp heat of his skin against her neck. Rose closes her eyes, taking in the feeling of him against her. On impulse, she leans down and places a light kiss on his temple, next to his sideburn.

When he feels her lips pressing against his skin, James sits up and watches her with a heated gaze. Rose's arms are still around him, and for a moment she finds herself lost in the deep brown eyes that are locked with hers. She silently maps out each freckle on his face. There's a tiny one just above his left eye, and she lightly presses her lips there, too. Somewhere in the back of her mind there's a voice screaming at her that this is dangerous, but then he's crushing his lips to hers and the voice is silenced.

The kiss is anything but gentle, and Rose starts to feel like she's been set on fire. His lips taste like a mixture of mint and the whiskey he's been drinking. Electricity crackles between the two of them as she threads her fingers through his hair and he runs his hands over the small of her back. He samples her bottom lip with his tongue, and she lets out a small moan as she opens her mouth to him.

"Rose?"

She vaguely processes that it's Mickey's voice floating up the stairs, but she's distracted by the feeling of James' fingers brushing across her collarbone, and the sound of his sigh as he devours her mouth with his own.

"Rose, are you up there? We're gonna be late!"

The sound of Mickey coming up the stairs yanks her back to reality. She breaks their kiss and jumps to her feet, pulling James with her. What has she just done?

"Yeah I'll be right down!" she yells back. She straightens her dress and heads for the door before turning around to look at James again. He watches her steadily, and he's panting a bit. "I'll see you downstairs in a few, yeah? There's no way I'm letting you drive on your own."

He looks like he wants to argue but thinks better of it. "Yeah," he says finally. "I'll be ready in five."

Rose leans against the wall outside the bedroom, trying to catch her breath and process what just happened. She knows that the kiss they just shared was totally a result of the alcohol he'd consumed and both of them getting caught up in the moment. He's not attracted to her like that. She's always found him strikingly handsome, but obviously he's Melody's husband, so she's never let herself entertain the thought, really. Guilt washes through her when she thinks of how her friend isn't even buried and here Rose is already moving in on her husband. And enjoying it. Oh, and there's the fact that she's basically just cheated on her own boyfriend with another man. Yet at the same time, the taste of James' kiss still lingers on her lips, and she wishes that she could bottle it and keep it forever.

Rose finishes composing herself and heads downstairs, where Mickey is waiting in the foyer. "Everything okay?" he asks her, giving her a strange look. She hopes her hair isn't too mussed up.

"Yep, just had to use the loo," Rose lies. There's that feeling of guilt again. "James is riding with us to the church. He's running a little late."

Mickey nods, and they wait together in silence. James comes down the stairs five minutes later as promised, looking completely put together in a clean shirt and tie. The only sign that anything was ever amiss is the slightly red tinge to his eyes. He avoids Rose's eyes entirely, and she wonders if he hates her now for kissing him on the day of his wife's funeral. The three of them ride to the church in an awkward silence, with the only conversation involving Mickey asking James for directions.

Donna is waiting in the parking lot when they arrive at the church. "There you are!" she says, sounding exasperated. "I was beginning to think you lot weren't going to show."

"Nah, just a little hitch or two, that's all," says James nonchalantly. Rose wonders if she's considered a hitch. Donna raises her eyebrows at James and Rose can tell that she sees right through his façade. She doesn't have time to question him, though, because he is whisked away to answer a question about programs and guest books.

"Rose, can you help with the girls?" Donna asks. "They've been acting up all morning and I just don't know what to do anymore. They love you, maybe you can get them to behave."

"Of course, Donna," she says. "You know I'd do anything for them." Rose waves goodbye to Mickey, who has been pulled into the middle of a group he knows from work. She's glad that he won't be alone, at least. Donna leads Rose back to the children's area of the church, and she can already hear Amy's tantrum from down the hall.

"No! I WON'T wear it!"

They find a frustrated Sylvia trying to get Amy to put on her dress, to no avail. Amy is sitting in a chair with her arms crossed, looking stubborn. With her ginger hair and freckles, Rose thinks she looks exactly like Donna, but she keeps that thought to herself.

"Hey, Sunshine!" Rose says cheerfully when she walks in. "What's all the commotion for?"

"She wants me to wear a dress and I don't want to!" Amy says defiantly. "I don't like dresses."

"But you love dresses, Amy," Rose says, confused. "I saw you wear one just last week. Don't you want to wear one for your Mum?"

Jennie, who is sitting on the table swinging her legs and eating a cookie, pipes up. "She doesn't want to wear a dress because it makes her sad. She misses Mummy."

Rose kneels down in front of Amy. "I miss her too," she says. "I miss her a whole bunch. But don't you think it would make your Mummy very happy if we all dressed like princesses for her?"

Amy cocks her head. "But I can't be a princess. I don't have a crown."

Rose spies some construction paper and some crayons on a nearby table. "Why don't we make one?" she says. "Then everyone will know you're a princess, yeah?"

"What about me?" Jennie says. "Can I be a princess too?"

"Well every princess has to wear a dress," Rose tells them. "So if you both put on your dresses and agree to act like little princesses are supposed to, then yes."

Soon Rose has both girls dressed and they sit quietly at the table coloring. James comes in after a few minutes to retrieve his daughters.

"Daddy!" Jennie says, running to him. "I missed you."

He picks her up and hugs her tightly. "Hey, Sprout. It's about time for us to go in and get our seats. Are you both dressed and ready to go?"

Jennie climbs out of his arms and runs over to grab Rose's hand. "I'm ready! Aunt Rosie is sitting with us," she informs him. "Because we're princesses and princesses have to stick together."

Their eyes catch over Jennie's head, and for a second Rose thinks he might protest but instead he just nods. "Okay."

Amy spins in a circle, making her dress twirl. "Do you think I look pretty, Daddy?"

"I think that you are the most beautiful ginger-haired princess in all the land. In fact, I might have to go get my sword so I can fight off all those Prince Charmings that will be entranced by your beauty."

Amy places her crown on her head and wrinkles her nose. "I think I want a dragon instead of a Prince Charming. They're not as stinky."

"I'm going to remind you of that in ten years," James tells her. He winks at Rose before taking his daughter's hand. "Okay, let's go!" The group heads out of the room and into the sanctuary. Rose takes a deep breath and mentally prepares herself to say a final goodbye to her dearest friend.


	3. Chapter 3

It's only 10:30 on a Saturday morning, and James is at his wit's end. Nobody seems to be listening to a word he says, Sarah's been extra fussy, and he's already broken up three different spats between Amy and Jennie.

"For the last time, Susie, you are not going to Maddie's house tonight," he tells his eldest daughter again while trying to hold on to the last of his patience. "You have a science fair poster that you haven't even started to work on, your room is a mess, and frankly, I don't have time to take you." James walks away and heads to the kitchen to make Sarah's bottle, fervently hoping that he can get her down for a nap. She didn't sleep at all the night before, and they are both exhausted.

"But Dad, that's not fair!" Susie whines, following him into the kitchen. "I inever/i get to do anything fun!"

"That's not what you said the other day when we went swimming at the community center after you begged me to go," he says cheekily, scooping formula out of the can and dumping it into the bottle.

Susie narrows her eyes at him, giving him a look that Melody always jokingly called "The Oncoming Storm." James simply raises an eyebrow and continues on with what he was doing. "Don't give me that look," he tells her. "You got it from me, which means I'm impervious to it."

Susie stamps her foot. "I hate you!" she yells. "If Mum was still here, she'd let me go!" She runs out of the kitchen and up to her room, stomping the whole way. James sighs, shaking his head. His daughter may only be 10, but she seems to have hit the teenage years early.

He takes the bottle back to the living room and settles down in the recliner with Sarah, who protests for a bit but finally quiets down when he gives her the bottle. James relaxes a bit himself, reveling in the rare silence that's filling his house right now. Amy and Jennie are upstairs playing in their rooms, and he hopes that they will stay that way a while. He's completely exhausted, and he wonders how Melody ever managed to stay at home all the time and not go insane.

Sarah's eyes have just fallen shut when a door slams loudly upstairs, jarring her awake again. Amy comes racing into the room, with Jennie hot on her heels. "DADDY!" Amy screeches, racing around the recliner. "Jennie stolded my Barbie doll and she won't give it back! She keeps playing with my stuff and she WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Did not!" Jennie yells, crossing her arms. "She's lying, Daddy! She told me I could have it!"

Sarah begins to scream, and the chaos is more than James can take. "STOP IT!" He yells, more fiercely than intended. Amy and Jennie look at him in fearful surprise, and he feels guilt wash over him. He's lost his temper in the past, sure, but he's inever/i yelled at his daughters before. James takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself.

"I'm sorry girls," he says, but it's too late. Jennie and Amy join Sarah's wailing, bringing the din to an ear-splitting level. James puts his hand over his face, and realizes that he needs to get out of this room before he loses it again. He sits Sarah in the play-pen and races upstairs to his bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

Running his hands through his hair, James paces, trying to rein in his frustration. It's been three weeks since the funeral, and the stress he's been feeling has him in a chokehold now. It's like he's being pulled into a black hole of madness and chaos that he can't get out of. He thought he could pull this off on his own, but maybe he's wrong. His children deserve better than what he's currently giving them, and he suddenly feels horribly ashamed for getting angry.

James considers just giving in and asking for help. There was plenty of it offered after the funeral, but he turned it down, insisting he'd have to manage on his own eventually. These are his children and this is his life, not anyone else's. He doesn't trust a lot of people with his kids anyway, especially not anyone in Melody's family. He's always been independent and one to solve his own problems.

Even as it all threatens to overwhelm him, James knows that he wouldn't trade his daughters for anything. He was always involved in his childrens' lives before Melody's death, but it was easy to cast the stress aside when he left the house or went to work, knowing that she would take care of everything. He'd come home at the end of the day, and everything would be in order. Now he's the finder of lost shoes, the keeper of the Froot-Loops, and the hero that saves the day when somebody falls off their bike and gets a skinned-up knee. It's the hardest job he's ever done, and sometimes he just doesn't feel like he's capable.

James sits on the side of the bed and stares at the phone on the nightstand, biting his lip. There aren't that many people available this weekend that he can call. Donna and Sylvia are in London for the day at some kind of arts festival, so he knows that they can't help him. Melody's sister Grace might be able to assist, but she was never fond of him and he really doesn't fancy the thought of listening to her endless gob all afternoon long. James' eye suddenly catches on a dark brown stain on the carpet near the wall and he realizes that there's one other person he hasn't considered.

No. Definitely not, he thinks. For one thing, she's got her own business so she's probably busy today anyway. And another, well…he feels rather humiliated at the inebriated state she found him in before the funeral. He'd been at his lowest that day, full of rage and bitterness at the unfairness of his life. Then there's the matter of that kiss. He'd never intended for it to happen, especially not on the day of his dead wife's funeral, but she'd shown up at his bedroom door and taken him in her arms like she icared/i about what happened to him, and her skin was so soft and those lips were so full and pouty. He had acted without thinking. And the thing is, he'd iliked/i it. He thinks she liked it too, based on the sounds he remembers her making, but he pushes that thought out of his mind. She has a boyfriend so…it doesn't matter.

Even so, he finds that his hand is reaching for the phone and dialing her number of its own accord. He sits and listen to the ringing on the other end, waiting for Rose Tyler to pick up. She answers on the second ring.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Rose?" he says. "Um, this is James. James Smith."

She laughs softly, and the sound of it lifts his heart just a bit. "I know who you are, silly. How are you doing? It's been a bit since I've heard from you."

"Oh great, great," he lies. "You know, just taking care of the kids, working, the usual."

"Yeah, me too. Working, I mean. Don't have any kids, obviously. But I work a lot." She goes quiet, and there's an awkward silence between them. "How are the girls?"

"They're good too," says James. "It's been a big adjustment for them, not having their mother around, but I think they'll be okay."

"That's great," says Rose. "I was worried about them."

"Actually," James says, suddenly feeling a little shy, "I was wondering if maybe…If maybe you would be able to come over and help watch the girls this afternoon? If you're not busy, I mean. I know it's Saturday and it's so last minute so you've probably-"

"James." Rose interrupts his rambling, sounding amused. "I can watch them for you. No worries, yeah? I've missed them, so I'd really love to spend some time with them anyway. Mickey's gonna be out tonight so it gives me an excuse not to sit at home by myself."

"Oh," James says, trying not to sound too relieved. "That sounds great. Thank you so much."

"You're welcome. I just have to lock up the studio and then I'll head over, okay?"

"Sounds great. See you soon."

James hangs up the phone and stares at it, wondering why it's taken him so long to call her. He should really make sure to do a better job of keeping in touch. As he gets up off the side of the bed to go back downstairs, he catches a glimpse of himself in the dresser mirror and realizes he looks like hell. There are baby food stains on his faded gray t-shirt, his hair is sticking out in every direction, and he hasn't shaved in two days. It's not like he's trying to impress her or anything, of course, but the thought of her seeing him in that state is rather embarrassing. He takes a few minutes to shave and clean himself up, deciding on a whim to wear something other than a t-shirt. He's always been more comfortable wearing Oxfords than t-shirts, anyway.

When Rose knocks on the door a little while later, James answers it quickly, a crying Sarah on his hip. "Hello!" he says over the wails, and holds open the storm door so that she can come in. She's wearing a t-shirt and gym shorts that reveal long, toned legs. Not that he's noticed.

"Hey, you," she says, stepping inside and giving him a big hug. He also doesn't notice how her hair smells like lavender and vanilla. "It's good to see you again."

"It's good to see you too. Sorry about the noise! Sarah's been a little fussy the past couple of days."

Rose smiles affectionately at Sarah and wipes a tear off her cheek. "Oh you poor thing," she says, and it takes James a second to realize she's talking to the baby. He's a little alarmed at the slight pang of jealousy he feels. "Come here." She holds her arms out to Sarah, who gives her a toothy grin and lets Rose pull her out of his arms. "We'll get you straightened out, won't we?" She bounces Sarah in her arms, making faces at her. Sarah giggles and pats Rose's face with her hand, her woes from a few moments ago long forgotten.

"How are you doing?" Rose asks James when she notices him smiling at the two of them. "Really."

"Oh I'm alright. I'm always alright."

"Psh," she says. "I can see it in your eyes. You should go relax, yeah? I'll keep the kids entertained."

"I suppose I could do with a nap." He begins fighting a yawn at the mere thought. "Sarah and I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Well it's no wonder," Rose tells him. "I can see three new teeth cutting through when she gives me that pretty smile. You've got some children's Tylenol, yeah?"

"Cabinet on the right above the toaster," he tells her, unable to stop the yawning any longer.

"Got it. You come with me, little one," she tells the baby as they disappear into the kitchen, leaving him alone in the hallway. "Let's give your Daddy a break, yeah?"

James watches them go, wondering how Rose Tyler can so easily brighten the mood of their household in the two minutes that she's been there.

Two hours later, James returns downstairs, feeling refreshed. He's had the chance to get some sleep and have a long hot shower, and it's done wonders for him. He feels better than he has in weeks. He wanders into the kitchen to find it cleaned from top to bottom. Susie and Rose are sitting at the kitchen table, chatting quietly. His daughter is working on her science fair poster and Rose is sipping her tea, every so often making gentle suggestions.

"Well look at that," James says, looking over Susie's shoulder at the poster she's made about Dinosaurs.

"Hey Dad!" Susie says, clearly in a much better mood than she was before. "I'm almost done with my poster, see? Did you know that the Stegosaurus had a brain that was the size of a walnut?"

"Wow, it looks great!" He tells her, ruffling her dark hair. It's wild and unruly, like his own. "And no, I didn't know that. That's pretty cool."

"Rose helped me. We went on the internet and found pictures and everything."

Rose smiles behind her teacup. "Nah, you did all the work, sweetheart. I just give advice where it's needed." She winks at James.

"I tell you what," James says. "Since you've been working so hard on your poster, iIf/i you promise to get your room cleaned up, and iif/i it's still okay with Maddie's mother, you can go to the slumber party tonight. Sound good?"

"Yes! Thank you Daddy!" Susie jumps up out of her chair and gives him a big hug. "I'll go do it right now." James watches her run out of the kitchen, realizing just how tall she's gotten lately. He remembers the day they brought her home from the hospital, and how he couldn't help but marvel over how tiny she was. Now she's all knees and elbows, and he knows that one day soon he will have to face the fact that she's becoming a young woman. The thought fills him with emotion. He's not sure he's ready for that yet.

"Are you alright?" Rose says, getting up from her chair to clear the table. "You look kind of sad."

James takes a deep breath, pulling himself back to the present. "Yeah," he says finally, turning to her. "Yeah. Just thinking about how it won't be long before she's all grown up. Soon I'm going to have to explain, you know, stuff, to her. And keep a stick by the front door so I can fight off the prince Charmings when they show up to try and win her heart. The thought is a little terrifying."

"Stuff," Rose says, raising her eyebrows knowingly.

"You know. iStuff./i When I have to tell her,i "I'm sorry Susie, but you have to wear this chastity belt until you're 32."/i Things like that."

Rose snickers, imagining him holding up a chastity belt and trying to explain it to his daughter. "You've got me," she promises him. "I know a thing or two about istuff/i."

James tries hard not to let himself imagine the "thing or two" that she knows. The images it conjures up are entirely too distracting, especially with her standing right in front of him and blushing crimson now that she realizes what she just said.

"Um, I mean, I'm not an expert or anything, but I could have the talk with her when it's time. If, you know, you want me to." She looks completely mortified, but he's too busy trying not to imagine how far that blush goes to pay any attention to her words.

"What? Um, right. Yeah, that would be great," he says, forcing his eyes back to her face. "Where are my other daughters?" he asks, abruptly changing the subject. This is getting to be entirely too much.

"Amy and Jennie are upstairs napping, and Sarah is asleep in her playpen," Rose tells him. "After I gave her the Tylenol and made her a bottle, she went right to sleep."

"You're an absolute miracle worker," James tells her gratefully. "I've been trying all morning to get them to stay quiet for more than five minutes at a time. "

Rose nods. "Hopefully the naps will help." They stand there for a moment awkwardly, both trying to think of something else to say.

"So…" James says. He knows they need to talk about what happened -it's like the elephant in the room is sitting right in between the two of them. "About what happened before the funeral, Rose," he says, taking a breath. "I just wanted to say…I'm sorry."

Rose's eyes snap up to meet his. "You have nothing to be sorry for," she tells him. "It's my fault. I'm the one who should be sorry. You had just lost your wife and I…I took advantage of you. There's no excuse for that."

"I kissed iyou/i, Rose, remember?"

Rose toys with a loose thread on her shirt, avoiding his eyes again. "It was just a kiss, yeah?" she says quickly. "We were both grieving. We needed someone to hold on to, and it was just a natural reaction. Nothing more, nothing less."

"Right." James nods. "So we'll think nothing else about it."

"Nope."

Sarah begins to cry from the living room, and Rose starts to move but James puts a hand on her arm. "I'll get her. Be right back." He leaves her standing there and escapes into the living room, trying to convince himself that her words didn't really sting.

Sarah is standing, holding on to the side of the play pen for dear life. "Hello you," James says to her as he lifts her up. "Pulling up on things, I see. It won't be long before you're running all over the place. What am I going to do then?" He presses a kiss to her forehead.


End file.
